For years, every time my therapist asked me how I felt, I would start by saying, “I think…”
I still do it sometimes - especially when my feelings are complicated.
I do it when I’m nervous that my answer won’t make sense - or when I’m afraid that what I’m feeling is too big.
In those moments, my therapist would invite me to pause.
She would ask me to not talk, and to just sit for a moment, and notice my body.
Immediately, I would feel embarrassed - “I’m a yoga teacher,” I would think, “dedicating my life to teaching others about embodiment, and yet here I am, afraid to sit still and notice my own feelings, my own body?!”
But of course, that is a huge part of why I am a yoga teacher.
I have felt, over and over again, what it’s like to feel out of touch with my body.
And because of this, I have felt, over and over again, how powerful it is to reconnect with my body.
I don’t teach because I always get it right.
I teach because I still get it wrong, even after so much practice.
I teach because I want to keep practicing.
There will always be things to think about, and there will always be things that pull us out of our bodies. Especially during times of political unrest, deep violence and upheaval. But I don’t believe that we can think our way out of violence. I don’t believe we can skip the feelings and jump straight to logic (especially since sometimes, there isn’t any).
So if you’re feeling a lot of feelings lately (or always), I invite you to do what my therapist invited me to do:
Pause.
Maybe put your hand on your heart, and close your eyes.
Stay as long as you need to, to let yourself actually feel.
You don’t even have to name what you feel - just feel it.
Try not to explain, or justify (even to yourself)...
Just feel.
Oftentimes, your heart will tell you what to do next - but usually, it can’t be rushed.
Try not to rush.
Sending so much love, from my heart to yours,
Abby
